Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Song of My Selfie

This Thursday I will be posting Tamara Safford's art, but today I thought I'd include this satirical extra by Ethan Goffman.  Enjoy!

Song of My Selfie
(Walt Whitman updated for the 21st Century)

I celebrate myself and Google myself
and what I become you shall read about
Every day on my Facebook page

I have heard what the bloggers were blogging, the blogs of how my side is right and yours
Is narrow minded socialist Nazis

Loafe with me on the virtual grass
Be intoxicated by the grass, not of the ‘60s but of the computer age
Get high, not on mountains, but on photos of mountains
With stimulating background music

A child said what is the virtual grass, summoning it with a click of the mouse
How could I answer the child?  I did not know any more than he.
I guess it must be the stuff created by the Asian IT people
Who studied math and engineering and higher philosophies
than are found on a million Facebook pages

Every image dredged up by me
From the unspoken depths of the internet
Is hearty and clear and pure and good
Not an inch or a half an inch is vile
For the human body is, indeed, beautiful
Though I erase it quickly should someone else walk into the room

I peruse manifold objects with minimal Google terms
And every one good, each perfect in the instant of its recreation and dissolution
At my whim, I am a virtual god and am good in each of my downloads

Stop this day and night with me and you shall possess
The secrets of my day in brazen detail
When I awoke, who I had lunch with, what convenience food I am having for dinner
A smiling photo of me and my lunch companion
A photo of my cat, asleep on the couch
What causes I support, what petitions I have taken 10 seconds to sign
A photo of me with the cat on my lap
What I think of the latest pop sensation
What I thought of the previous pop sensation
A photo of my cat, asleep on the bed

Am I petty and redundant?
Very well, then, I’m petty and redundant.

I am small, I contain platitudes

For your listening pleasure, the poet has recommended these tracks, starting with Madonna's "Material Girl," moving to Nellie McKay singing "It's a Pose" on Conan O'Brien's show, and finishing with some Malcolm Daiglish, whom he finds to be Whitmanesque.

Below is a picture of my cats.  You recognize Thelma; the calico is Callie.