The Tail
Rasmussen was
supposed to report
back each week.
To tail the target
to dinners and meetings.
To take pictures
and jot down notes,
names of the faces
if he could get them.
The file kept
expanding until new files
had to be opened
on the others
and who they were
meeting.
Soon, Rasmussen
felt he was being watched.
He could not prove
it any more than his target could.
There was a dire
threat to the country,
Rasmussen was sure
of that.
He just hoped no
one was trying to prove it was him.
The target seemed
oblivious, but Rasmussen could no longer
be certain of
that.
Perhaps this was
all an elaborate ruse to net him.
He could feel his
throat closing and he
didn’t know why.
A tiny sound came
from down the alley
and Rasmussen
turned to find a cat.
He couldn’t be
sure how long it had
been watching him.
Its tail hooked
like the end of a life-saving pole
at the public
pool.
Those tiny eyes of
murder
betraying nothing.
Pretending to be an Airport
The local airport
is not really an airport at all.
There is a single
landing strip which the rednecks
use for the drag
races each summer.
There are folding
bleachers setup for the crowds
which can just
fold back in when the airport
is back to
pretending to be an airport.
No one ever takes
off or lands from there.
Just a single
orange grounded helicopter in case of emergency.
And one building
that is always closed.
No one works there,
but come racing season
the bleachers are
packed.
Cut right out of
the Canadian wilderness.
Grease monkeys
running around with wrenches.
Racing helmets
with tinted visors for all the drivers.
A place to
tailgate and four outhouses
brought in for the
occasion.
Photograph by Theresa Otera
Any Turn of the Soil Left to
You
I have these
gallant-less earthworm weapons buried everywhere
so that you are
probably walking over a few of them as she speaks to you
on matters of
etiquette and you wonder who will win the World Series –
the converted
doomsday silo idiots are down here too
and as much as I
don’t wish to share real-estate with a raving
beard of bees,
necessity dictates a certain measure of closeness
approaching a near
hug or moaning love bug dalliance so the planets can
feel good about
being rocks
is it half-true that your hubby is
legally blind
from the waist down?
any turn of the soil left to you I guess and
you who always
thought yourself a
city girl; if you couldn’t have quiet at least
you had options
which are simply weapons of choice in the maniacal
industrial complex
or something a little less alarmist if your
devilish
sensibilities read dirty books before bed
(I have never understood the cinder
blocks of sadism,
perhaps I am infertile and idiot
children are beyond me)
I am better
prepared than the combined fire departments of the next
three counties
which means I have assured myself of the uninsurable
and that gentleman
callers in the Freudian sense will dig through
dumpsters of junk
science to find something to throw up
in front of your
face that is not a mirror.
New Daily Phishing Scam
My wife opens up
her email and laughs.
The daily phishing
scams are getting more inventive
all the time.
The one this
morning read:
Dear Influential Individual…
and suggested that
joining the Illuminati
for a limited time
would be a great way
to make money.
I like that the Is in both Influential and Individual
are capitalized,
I say.
Shows you just how Important and Influential
you are.
My wife laughs
and tells me the
address is:
info@illuminati.org.
How official, I say.
You’d think if I was so Influential that I would
already be part of the
Illuminati, wouldn’t you?
she asks.
Well, it sounds legit and we could use the money,
so you better go ahead and sign up,
I say.
I’ll get right on that,
she says.
And then she is
off to the kitchen to make her coffee.
It is nice to have
a good laugh in the morning.
The phishing scam
people did us real solid
this morning.
Wristwatch
He wants to know
if anyone
has seen his
watch,
but no one pays
attention.
He feels the naked
sun line along his wrist
where his watch
should be,
gets down on all
fours to search
under chairs.
A man under the
table is licking the carpet
and quickly swats
him away.
Tells him he will
ruin it for everyone
He stands up and
asks again
if anyone has seen
his watch.
Nobody even looks
at him.
They just keep
drinking and laughing
He dig into the
punchbowl for his watch
and comes up with
lemons.
Sliced nice and
thin
with a knife
and probably not
a watch.
Don’t Ever Call A Chipmunk
Squirrely
They are already
crazy
and on edge
and then you throw
shade their way
by implying they
are a lowly squirrel,
their largest competition
for nuts.
Don’t ever call a chipmunk squirrely,
just don’t!
You will see their
tails rise up
as they charge
down the fence line
towards you.
They are seriously
unhinged
and now you have
given them a reason.
They will start to
appear in numbers.
As word travels
about this latest
affront to all
Chipmunkdom.
Then you have a
problem.
And all the
squirrels in the world
won’t help you.
-------------------------------
With this last poem, I have to play a version of "Nutville." This one is by the Central Washington University Jazz Band: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bx0oXDsIQoI
This is their version of "A Little Minor Booze": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN0_U3fImmA
"Wide Open Spaces" goes with "Pretending to be an Airport": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuusxIL1DcQ
I'll finish with their version of "Rhythm-a-Ning": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xMcHp8Oh_U